DORE IBINTU WAKAGOMBYE KUMENYA MBERE YUKO UBANA N’ UNDI AKARAMAT

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Ibyo Ugomba kumenya mbere yo kwiyemeza kubana n’umuntu akaramata

Muri iyi minsi usanga abatari bacyeya, batoroherwa cyane iyo umuntu avuze urukundo rw’iteka. Aho niho usanga benshi bemeza ndetse ko urukundo rutakibaho nubwo bitangaza cyane iyo buri wa gatandatu twitabira amakwe atandukanye mu mpande zose z’isi.

Uko amakwe atahwa ari menshi, ni nako umubare w’abatandukana bakananirwa kubana burundu ugenda wiyongera kubera gutungurwa na byinshi mu rukundo nyuma yo kubaka urugo. Burya kwirinda biruta kwivuza kandi burya iyo mbimenya ntiyari ijambo. Duhereye kubyo umwanditsi, Anne-Laure Gannac, yanditse ku rubuga rwa psychologie.com bigaragara cyane ko hari ibice bitatu by’ingenzi ugiye kwiyemeza yagakwiye kuba asobanukiweho neza.

IGICE CYA MBERE: KUMVA KO UWO UKUNDA ARIWE PARADIZO KURI WOWE
(Njyewe+uwo nkunda=umuntu umwe)

Ngiryo itangiriro ry’urukundo ruryoshye ku mubano wa babiri aho baba bumva ko bagize umuntu umwe ijana ku ijana. Uko urukundo rugenda rukura mu muntu, igishyuhira kuwo rwahisemo kimutera kumva koko ari mu yindi si yisangije we nuwo bakundana, aho benshi batasobanukirwa kandi haryoshye kurusha byose. Ni aho aba yumva ko yatomboye aho aba yemera ko ari kumwe n’umukunzi Imana yamugeneye koko umwari cyangwa umusore umukwiriye Iki gice ni aho buri umwe mu bagize umubano wa babiri(couple) aba areba undi agasanga koko ari imana y’I Rwanda, aho ahitamo uwo yihebeye akumva ko babaye umwe koko. Muri iri tangiriro ry’umubano w’abiyemeje kubana akaramata, ubuzima bwabo buba busa n’ijuru ritoya aho umugabo aba abona umugore we nk’umwamikazi mu gihe umugore we aba abona umugabo we nk’umwami.

Iki gihe kibanziriza ubuzima burebure bw’urukundo, ni igihe umwe aba yibona mu wundi kuburyo gikwiriye kuba nk’ibuye fatizo ku buzima buba buri imbere ku biyemeje kwibanira akaramata. Akamaro k’iki gice: Igice cyo gufata uwo mubana nk’impamvu y’umunezero wimbitse ni igihe gikwiye kubyazwa umusaruro cyane cyane mu gutuma ubuzima bwa bombi buryoha. Gituma abakundana bombi barushaho kwisanzurana ndetse no kunga ubumwe. Iki gice gifasha kwifungurirana bityo buri wese akamenya undi kandi bikajya bituma arushaho kumukunda uko bwije n’uko bucyeye kuko aba abona neza cyane ko ari ntawundi umumusumbira.

Imbogamizi muri iki gice: Icyi gice gishobora gutuma umuntu atandukana n’ukuri kw’ibintu, aho cyane cyane usanga ukunda yarahebeye burundu ubuzima bwe uwo akunda bityo uwo yihebeye akaba yamukoresha amakosa atandukanye. Kuri benshi buri umwe aba yumva umunezero we ukomoka k’uwo akunda gusa ndetse ko yewe uwo akunda ari nta nenge yaba afite dore ko muri icyi gihe ziba zitarebwa ku nyungu zo kwirebera ibyiza n’uburyohe bw’umukunzi.

Inama kuri muri iki gice: Ni ingenzi cyane kumenya kubaka umubano ukarishye muri iki gice, kwifungurirana kurushaho , kuganira ndetse no kumarana umwanya bihagije dore ko kwigunga biba bishobora kugwira abatari bacyeya mu gihe bari kure y’abo bihebeye. Kuri benshi, iki gihe kimara igihe kiri hagati y’imyaka ibiri n’itatu kuri benshi bityo kikaba gikwiye kwitabwaho kugirango mu kurangira kwacyo kizasige umubano ukaze hagati ya bombi kandi koko ukomeye

IGICE CYA KABIRI: KUMENYA KO MU BYUKURI BURI WESE ATANDUKANYE N’UNDI
(Njyewe+uwo nkunda=Njyewe +uwo nkunda)

Nyuma yo kumara igihe kamere zanyu zibumvisha ko muri umwe nk’uko ukuri ko gushyingirwa kubivuga, gahoro gahoro buri umwe agenda abona neza ko afite itandukaniro n’undi. Aha niho ubona ko imitekerereze yawe, uburyo bwo kwifuza ikintu runaka ngo gufata ibyemezo bitandukanye. Aha umwe agaragara nk’uwihuta muri byinshi undi akagaragara nk’utinda mu mayira ya buri kimwe.

Iki gice cyo kumenye ukuri ku itandukaniro rya babiri babana, abatari bacyeya niho batangira gucyeka ko bibeshye no gutekereza ko uwo bihebeye atariwe bari bakwiranye. Ku babana badaca bugufi intonganya zishobora kuvuka ariko ku bazi kwitegereza benshi cyane bavumbura kuzuzanya gushoboka hagati yabo.

Ni igihe cyo gusezera burundu ishusho yo kwibeshya kuwo wari warihebeye, aho buri umwe yemera ko uwo akunda nawe ari umuntu ugira inenge kandi n’intege nkeya zitandukanye bityo utabasha kwemera uwo yihebeye bishobora kumuviramo gusenya umubano Akamaro kuri iki gice: Muri iki gice buri umwe abasha gusubira kwiremarema nk’umuntu ufite intego ze z’umwihariko ku buzima bwe. Gituma buri wese yongera kwiyumva nk’ikinege kuri iyi si bityo bikamufasha guhitamo kurasa ku ntego zitandukanye aba yarihaye mu buzima ku giti cye.

Imbogamizi muri iki gice: Muri icyi gihe, benshi bashinja abaraza babo kuba batakibakunda nka mbere. Aho usanga urwikekwe, kubihirwa mu mubano no kwigunga byiganza mu rugo rwa babiri. Tutirengagije ko abatihangana bagiheraho bagasenya ingo zabo ni ngombwa kongeraho ko gishobora gutuma uwatinze kukinjiramo yicwa n’agahinda kamwereka ko adakunzwe n’uwo yihebeye bikaba byanamuviramo guca inyuma uwo bashakanye.

Inama: Umuntu uri muri iki gihe, afashwa cyane no kumenya kwegera birushijeho uwo yihebeye. Aha ni ngombwa cyane gushaka cyane uko basohoka bagatembera ndetse bakajya ahantu babereye amaso hari n’umwuka utandukanye n’uwo bahumekaga mu rugo rwabo. Ababishoboye bafata ikiruhuko kinini, bajya muri hoteli cyangwa ahandi hatari mu rugo rwabo, bakazirikana kurushaho gukundana no kuba umwe n’ubwo kamere ziri kugenda zihabatira kubona ibindi bitandukanye nibyo batekerezaga mu ntangiriro.

IGICE CYA GATATU: KWEMERA KUBANA AKARAMATA
(Njyewe+uwo nkunda=Njyewe+uwo nkunda+urugo rwacu)

Icyi gice cya gatatu, ni igihe koko ababana bamaze kumenyerana kandi biyemeje kubana mu gutandukana kwabo. Nyuma yo kubona ko buri umwe afite intego ze n’ibitekerezo bye, buri umwe mu babana wemeye ko uwo yahisemo atandukanye nawe aramwemera kandi akamwakira mu buzima bwe nk’inshuti y’iteka kandi ingenzi kugirango yuzure.
Muri iki gice buri umwe ntaba akibona ko ari hariya n’undi hariya, ahubwo baba bumva ko hari buri umwe , ibyifuzo, ibitekerezo na kamere bye ariko ko ari ngombwa ko babana kugirango ubuzima burusheho kuryoha.
Usanga kuri uru rwego ababana baba bafite n’abana aho usanga koko bamaze kubona umuryango bityo ntibaba bireba gusa ahubwo baba bireba banareba umuryango muri rusange.
Urukundo rero abemeza ko rusaza ntibavuga ukuri kuko urukundo nyarwo rugenda rurushaho kugira agaciro uko iminsi igenda iha indi bityo kugira umuryango ntibikwiye kuba impamvu yo gutana n’urukundo ahubwo ni uburyo bwo kurwinjiramo wese. Akamaro k’iki gice: Kwingira byimbitse mu rukundo rukuze kandi urukundo nyakuri ruha agaciro buri umwe ndetse na couple muri rusange.

Imbogamizi: abatari bacyeya nyuma yo kuvumbura ko buri umwe afite uko aremye, bashobora guhitamo kubana nk’inshuti gusa bityo kwitananaho bikagabanuka ndetse n’ibiryoshya umubano bigahabwa agaciro kagayitse nko gutera akabariro n’ibindi nk’ibyo… Inama:

Inyigo zitandukanye zigira umuntu uri muri iki gihe, gukomerezaho akubaha umukunzi we, kandi akamuha agaciro gakwiye nk’umuherekeza w’iteka muri buri pfundo rya buri mushinga we. Ni ngombwa cyane kumenya gukaza umubano ndetse no kurushaho gushaka uburyo butandukanye uburyohe no kuryoherezanya byakiyongera ku bucuti byahabwa agaciro kandi bigashyirwa mu bikorwa.

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