AMABANGA 10 YO KUGARURA UMUNEZERO MU RUKUNDO


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Amabanga 10 yo Kugarura Umunezero mu Rukundo
Ese urukundo rwanyu ruracumbagira? Urabona se mwembi musa n’abarambiwe? Ese aho ntiwifuza kubivamo ukabura uko ubigenza?

Nyuma y’ibyo bibazo byose, umuti si uguhita ubivamo, banza ahubwo wisuzumme, usuzume n’umukunzi wawe, mwembi musuzumane, mumenye neza ikibazo gihari kuko birashoboka ko gikemuka maze mukongera mugakomeza urukundo rwanyu mutishishanya.

Dore ibintu icumi bishobora gutuma umunezero ugaruka mu rukundo rwanyu

  1. Ntimukiganira bihagije, none gerageza ugarure uwo muco hagati yanyu

Icyica umubano mwiza utagira amakaraza mu rukundo rwanyu ni uko akenshi usanga umwe muri mwe ashobora guhora yumva undi ariko agasa n’aho we adafite uburenganzira bwo kuvuga icyo yifuza mu rukundo rwanyu. Ugahora wumva ugomba gushimisha uwo mukundana kabone n’aho wowe waba utabyishimiye.

Niba hari aho wifuza kujya kandi ukaba wumva byagushimisha ujyanye n’uwo wihebeye, mubaze niba nawe abishaka kandi ubimusabe hakiri kare kugira ngo nawe umuhe umwanya wo kubitekerezaho.

Niba hari cyo akubwiye ko kitamushimishije, mwumve umusobanuze neza maze ugerageze kukireka kabone n’aho cyaba kigoye, ugikorere ko umukunda kandi wamurutushije abandi.

  1. Wasanga nyamara n’ubwo mubana cyangwa mumaze igihe mukundana mutaziranye. Guhera uyu munsi gerageza ufate umwanya uhagije wo kumenyana

Nk’uko mu kinyarwanda bivugwa, burya ngo ntazibana zidakomanya amahembe, ni nayo mpamvu mu bantu bakundana bidashoboka ko usanga bahuza mu bintu byose. Hari ibyo mugeraho ntimwumvikane ndetse rimwe na rimwe mukananirana.

Ikindi kandi mu guhura kw’abakundana ntibaba baziranye bihagije, biba ari ngombwa rero ko bafata umwanya wo kumenyana umwe akamenya icyo umukunzi we akunda n’icyo yanga, akamenya ibimubabaza n’ibimushimisha ndetse n’ibindi byose.

Ni byiza ko bamenyana mu buryo buhagije. Usanga benshi mu bakundana biyoberanya cyangwa bakishushashanya ku bakunzi babo ntibababwize ukuri cyangwa ngo babihishurire neza abo baribo, nyamara burya biba byiza cyane iyo umukunzi wawe umwiyeretse wese kuko burya iyo agukunda aba agukundira ibyiza n’ibibi byawe n’ubwo aba ashobora kugufasha gukosora bimwe mu bitagenda neza cyangwa ‘ibibi’.

  1. Ese aho ntiwikunda cyane, ukihugiraho wenyine, ukumva utuntu twose watwiharira? Gerageza Kugirira no kugaragariza ubuntu umukunzi wawe.

Ubuntu hano buvugwa ntabwo ari ubujyanye n’ibintu bifatika gusa.

Ni ukwita ku mukunzi wawe muri byose, ibyo yagusabye n’ibyo atagusabye, mu byo yibuka n’ibyo atibuka. Ni ukureba icyabera cyiza umukunzi wawe, ukamukunda n’umutima wawe wose kandi ugahora witeguye kumuha ubufasha akeneye mu gihe cyose.

  1. Hari igihe wasanga gucira bugufi no kubaha umukunzi wawe bikugora, kandi nyamara ari ikintu gikomeye kandi cyari gikwiye mu rukundo rwanyu

Burya umuntu ukunda, uzi neza ko nawe agukunda, akurutisha abantu bose, ugera aho ukumva nta kumwishishaho na gato ufite. Iyo utabyitwayemo neza, cyangwa ngo ubicungire hafi, bigera aho ukamuca amazi (ukamusuzugura) nk’uko bajya babivuga ku buryo usigara ari we utubaha mu bantu bose.

Byakabaye byiza gukomeza kwitwararika kabone n’aho mwaba mumaranye igihe kinini gute.

Si byiza kumva ko mwamenyeranye cyane ngo utangire wumve ntacyo akikubwiye, ngo umubwire ibyo wiboneye byose. Burya ni byiza ko umwifungurira ukamubwira ibyo utekereza, ariko kandi burya ntukarengere , ni byiza kumenya aho ugomba kugarukira kugira ngo utava aho umukomeretsa.

  1. Hari abantu benshi bahora bahora basa n’abihugiyeho, ariko biba byiza iyo uhaye umwanya uhagije umukunzi wawe.

Ni ngombwa gufata umwanya kandi uhagije w’umukunzi wawe. Si byiza kuri ba bantu bakunda kureba za filimi cyangwa kureba imipira y’amaguru cyane, batinda mu tubari se, ku buryo bibagirwa cyangwa se babura n’umwanya w’abakunzi babo. Niba kandi utashye uvuye ku kazi, ugeze mu rugo gerageza guha umwanya abo uhasanze, utandukanye akazi no mu rugo. Muri iki gihe kubera ikoranabuhanga, abantu benshi ntibakibona umwanya uhagije bagenera abo mu rugo; n’iyo batashye bavuye ku kazi bahitira kuri za mudasobwa, kuri za facebook n’ibindi bishobora kubatwara umwanya bakibagirwa abo batashye basanga. Nyamara ibi si byiza na buke kuko umukunzi (umugore/umugabo) wawe aba agukeneye kandi agutegereje.

  1. Guhora mureshyanya

Iyo mukundana mugera aho mukagira ngo byararangiye mukumva bisa nk’aho inshingano mwari mufite zarangiye. Ni ngombwa rero ko muhora mureshyanya (seduire), ugahora wumva buri gihe ukwiye guhora usa neza imbere y’umukunzi wawe. Burya kandi biba byiza iyo mubanyeho nk’aho buri munsi ari bwo mukibonana; ugahora wumva ushaka gukora kuri mugenzi wawe, kumubwira ko ari mwiza, kumutera imitoma, n’ibindi biranga abantu ba(gi)kundana.

Burya si byiza ku bagore bamwe na bamwe, bagera mu rugo bagahita batangira kwicupiza, ntibiyiteho ku buryo usanga abagabo babo baba basigaye basa n’aho banafite isoni zo gusohokana nabo, rimwe na rimwe ugasanga bibaye n’intandaro yo kubaca inyuma.

Niba uri mu rugo n’umukunzi wawe, jya wiyitaho, ube usa neza, wereke umukunzi wawe ko umukunda kandi ko ukiri mwiza kugira ngo ajye ahora abona ko yatomboye kuko nta wundi musa.

Mu rukundo jya wibuka ko utari nk’umuntu ureba filimi gusa, ko ahubwo uri umukinnyi wayo kandi w’imena, bityo umenye ko ugomba gukora uko ushoboye kose ngo urusigasire.

  1. Mu bibangamira urukundo kenshi harimo kutizerana, ese aho wari uziko iyo utizera umukunzi wawe uba usa n’urimo kumutiza umurindi wo kuguca inyuma?!

Birashoboka ko ibi waba wenda warabisubiriwemo kenshi ntubyumve, ariko menya ko nta rukundo rushobora gutera imbere mu gihe nta kwizerana hagati y’abakundana.

Ni ngombwa kumva ko umwizeye, ntugahore wumva wacunga abamuhamagara, ubutumwa bugufi yakiriye cyangwa ubutumwa bwoherezwa kuri interineti emailsbumugeraho.

Hari n’ababa bifuza kumenya mot de passe (amagambo tw’ibanga) abakunzi babo bakoresha kuri emails zabo, jya ugerageza wirinde kutamwizera, ugerageze kurwanya ibitekerezo bikumvisha ko akubeshya cyangwa ko aguca inyuma, kuko nta handi bikugeza usibye kugusenyera.

Hari abantu bamwe babona nta mwanya wo kuganiriza abakunzi babo bajya babona, bityo bagahitamo kubaganiriza bari ku meza, ari naho bababariza ibitabashimishije. Burya si byiza kuko icyo gihe n’iyo waba wamuteguriye ifunguro ryiza adashobora kuryoherwa, ugasanga ushobora kuba usa n’uwakoreye ubusa.

Ikindi kandi niba hari ikibazo muhuye na cyo mu rukundo rwanyu, ntukagifate nk’aho ari iherezo rya byose kuko ntibishoboka ko uba mu rukundo rutigera na rimwe rugira ibibazo, n’iyo byaba nta gushidikanya haba harimo ikindi kibazo utazi cyangwa utarabona.

  1. Nimugerageze kugira umushinga mukorana

Ni byiza ko mu rukundo mugira umushinga waba ari muto cyangwa munini mugirana kuko bibafasha kwegerana no gushyira hamwe. Ntiwirirwe utekereza kure kuko ntabwo umushinga ari itegeko ko uba ikintu kinini gusa, ushobora kuba urugendo runaka mutegurana, guteganya kubyara no kurerera hamwe uwo mwana, kuvugurura inzu, gufatanya kuyitera irangi, kujya guhaha muri week-end, n’ibindi byoroshye ariko kandi biryoha iyo mubikoranye.

  1. Kwiherera

Buri muntu aba akeneye igihe cyo kuba ari kumwe n’umukunzi we gusa, nta wundi muntu uza kubabangamira, ni byiza pe! Birashoboka kandi ko hari n’ikindi gihe aba yumva akeneye kuba ari wenyine, akitekerezaho, agatekereza ku mukunzi we, agasubira mu twandiko twa kera yandikiranaga n’inshuti ze, cyangwa mu tundi tuntu twose yaba yarakundaga kera ubu atakibonera umwanya.

Ibi bishobora kuba, umukunzi wawe agatekereza ko ahari yaba yagukoshereje atabizi cyangwa ko waba ufite ikindi atazi cyakubabaje, ni byiza rero kubanza ukamubwira ko ukeneye umwanya wo kwiherera n’uwo kuba wenyine kandi ukamubwira ko nta kindi kibazo ufite kugira ngo ataza guhangayika. Si ngombwa rwose ko abakundana bahorana, aho bagiye hose bakajyana, aho ubonye umwe ugahita uhabona n’undi, kuko ibyo bituma basa n’aho bamenyerana cyane, cya kintu cyagukuruye cyane ukabona uwo muntu adasanzwe kikazagera aho kigashira kubera guhorana; ni byiza ko musigirana umwanya wo gukumburana, ukamubona usa n’ubonekewe.

  1. Kugira umukunzi ntibivuze kwambikwa amapingu, gerageza kwigenga

Kuba ufite umukunzi kandi ukunda cyane, ntibivuze kumwimariramo ngo wumve ko adahari nta cyo waba uri cyo, yewe ko nta n’icyo wakwishoboza cyagwa wakwigezaho.

Si byiza kumva ko ari we ukugize, kuko ibi bikugira ho ingaruka mbi mu gihe mutakiri kumwe cyangwa hari ikindi kitagenze neza, kuko burya ubuzima budateguza.

Ni byiza ko buri wese akomeza kuba uwo yari na mbere y’uko muhura, akaguma akaba we ubwe, kabone n’aho mubana kandi mukundana. Burya ni byiza ko hari gahunda ukomeza kugira ku giti cyawe, nko gusohokana n’inshuti zawe, gusangira nazo, kuzitumira mu rugo, kujya koga(piscine), kwiga umuziki, kubyina n’ibindi bidasaba uruhare rwe.

Uramukunda pe, ariko ntabwo ari byose kuri wowe, hari ubundi buzima ukeneye kubaho uko ubyumva bipfa kuba gusa bitamubangamiye. Gusa jya ureba neza kandi nturengere kuko n’iyo mugize ubuzima butandukanye cyane kandi mubana na byo bishobora kubagora ndetse bikaba byanabaviramo gutandukana cyangwa n’izindi ntonganya. Ibi bizabafasha kugira urukundo ruryoshye, ruri nta makemwa kandi ruzamara igihe kirekire ‘rutoshye’.

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